Sometimes I get in a slump and I say to myself, "I hate my job." I have learned to follow that phrase with, "When I'm not doing a good job." In my head or even under my breath my mantra staggers, "I hate my job.......when I am not doing a good job."
Everyone loves things that they are good at doing. We can think back to subjects in school that we hated when we didn't understand them very well, but then grew to love them when we understood the concepts like the back of our hand. Like when long division was first introduced and the steps seemed so dumb and you didn't get it. But once you memorized the multiplication tables you couldn't stop and just round up at the one's place, but wanted to keep going into the tenth's, and hundredth's places, and beyond.
Or, when you learned to diagram parts of speech. It was all foreign and you weren't going to remember the difference between a verb and a noun. And then you got good at it and wanted all the compound subjects and verb phrases and adjective and adverb branches sticking all over the place in your diagram skeletons.
Outside of school maybe there was a job you had to do that you weren't thrilled about but the more you did it the faster you got and you figured out a streamlined system and polished you techniques and received compliments. Then that task became your favorite because you were good at it.
My point being, we all love things we are good at doing. When the dred comes over me and I hear the words whispering out my throat, "I hate my job." I pause and then keep going, with determination I add, "When I am not doing a good job."
The truth is that I hate my job when I didn't do any preparation and I am behind: behind with meal planning, behind on grading math, behind on laundry......... I hate my job when I am not doing a good job: when the bathroom is grimy, and the floors are strune about with various toys and trash, when I spent the previous two hours scrolling on my phone, eating the last snacks in the house, and everyone is hungry, I have no idea what to cook, and the pot I need has to be washed first. I hate my job when I am not doing a good job.
I love my job when the house is clean, the laundry is folded and put away, the meat is thawed, the potatoes are peeled, the math test is printed before we start lessons, and I am cooking a meal that everyone likes before people start begging me for food.
You know what? I even love my job when all those things aren't done perfectly but I have made a good effort. I feel good about my job when I can honestly say I focused on the tasks without using my phone to distract myself.
When I have this hateful feeling about my job creep up, I have learned to look around and recognize all that I am not doing. I put something away, sweep, start a load of laundry, wipe down the bathroom surfaces, or read a book to the children. Those things usually bring me back to a place of joy.
I am alone, or do you know what I am talking about?
Proverbs 15:17
Better is a dinner of herbs where love is,
than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.