Book Review: Crucial Conversations

    

    Crucial Conversations is a book about having improved dialogue when emotions run high. These conversations happen among neighbors and coworkers, with bosses and spouses, and in many of life's situations. The authors lay out good reasons why you would want to engage in dialogue and keep lines of communication flowing. They go over common pitfalls and explain some techniques that can help you keep your focus on the objective so that you don't fall into these pitfalls. 

The section that I felt most impactful for me at this time is about sucker's choices and the stories we tell ourselves.

A sucker's choice is when we tell ourselves there is no possibilty of agreement so we have two bad choices: just clam up or say abrasive things that aren't going to help dialogue. Because this book laid out so clearly this common behavior I quickly identified my weaknesses. I know I choose to clam up when I don't think there is any other way to be honest. Here is a quote from the book:

"Sometimes we choose personal safety over dialogue. Rather than add to the pool of knowledge and make waves along the way we go to silence. We are so uncomfortable ​with the immediate conflict that we accept the certainty of bad results to avoid the possibility of uncomfortable conversation. We choose, at least in our minds, peace over conflict."

  Thankfully, the authors have some helpful skills to practice implementing so that you catch yourself and stop making sucker's choices. They also make a convincing case on why this behavior is not in anyone's best interest. Clamming up and not sharing your meaning does not equal peace. Focusing on the shared goal and being more creative is the key. You must find a way to engage and also be understanding.

  The other part of the book that I found so helpful at this time is the section about the stories we tell ourselves. We come up with stories about why someone did or said something. This story is not a fact and the sooner we realize that the better we can try to understand the other person. Ask the other person and be curious instead of assigning assumed motives. It is also very useful to get the other person's story and hear what meaning they are assigning to your actions. Not to say that their story is the fact of the matter but so that you can see where they are coming from and understand why they are treating you like... (fill in the blank,.. the villain, the oppressor, the fool, etc..)

   None of these skills will help if you have no interest in keeping an open dialogue with another party. Engaging in dialogue and seeing the value in having dialogue is the whole point of this book. I feel that there is a lot of good information in this book and that I have only scratched the surface. There are chapters on decision making, and how to make sure that all parties feel safe to share their opinions, and so on and so forth. As I get better at using these initial skills I will need to revisit this book and try to add to my skill set. 

Breakfast Pizza

 

This breakfast pizza is inspired by Casey's (the gas station) breakfast pizza. Their breakfast pizza is so good! I have thought about it a lot and I think what makes their breakfast pizza so good is the cheese sauce.

To make the cheese sauce I cut up about 8oz. of processed cheese (like Velveeta), and add about 1/4 cup of milk or broth, if I'm out of milk.

I stir this over med/low heat until everything is smooth and melted.

I would be willing to try jarred cheese spread like nacho cheese, but I rarely buy those products. I rarely buy processed cheese to begin with so I don't make recipes like this very often.

I use My Family's Favorite Pizza Crust Recipe. 

(Here's an abbreviate recap: 3 cups water, 1 1/2 T. salt, 1 1/2T. yeast,  6 1/2 cups flour. Stir barely, rise 2-5 hours. Refrigerate for upto 2 weeks.)

Spread the cheese sauce on the dough and top with things like; 

•cooked scrambled eggs, 

•breakfast sausage crumbles, 

•bacon pieces, 

•jalapenos, 

•bell peppers 

•and shredded cheese

Bake at 400° F. for 20 minutes.

Flower Update as of 3/28/25

 

   So many things are happening in nature this time of year. These flowers all popped open over night. I see these flowers on my walk in the morning. I'm not sure what type of shrub this is, but it's flowers sure are pretty. 

  I found my Bleeding Hearts! I was so happy to see them. I have been looking for them for a couple weeks. This morning I was looking again and gave up. I figured they must have been too trampled during the summer and frozen solid in the ice over winter. As I straightened up and turned to leave, my eyes landed right where they are coming up! I had been looking in the wrong place all along.

The Lilac buds are forming. I am looking forward to their sweet, sweet perfume.

The Daffodils are going to town! Pretty blossoms and more infant buds coming up still.

Matthew 5:44-45

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, 

bless them that curse you, 

do good to them that hate you, 

and pray for them which despitefully 

use you, and persecute you; 

That ye may be the children of your Father 

which is in heaven: 

for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil 

and on the good, and sendeth rain 

on the just and on the unjust. 

March Stitches

 

I finished the dress! This is 100% hand stitched. It is the first time that I have made a dress all by hand. It feels good to see what I can achieve.

This month I stitched the skirt pieces together, gathered and attached the floral contrast bit, hemmed the skirt, finished the seams and put in gathering stitches at the top edge of the skirt. I got to this point by the 18th of March.

Next I attached the bodice to the skirt with a backstitch and a running stitch for reinforcement. Then I finished the seam with a blanket stitch.

I sewed the zipper in the center back. 

I sewed the collar and facing on to the neckline. I understitched the collar to help everything lay smoothly.

  And that is it. The dress is done. All the seams are neatly finished. There is nothing left to do. It turned out great!

I, also, had to make a repair in my compression hose this month. I took a few minutes to stitch this hole closed.

"A stitch in time saves nine."

That's is a good quip. I hope you have had a good March and that your projects keep marching on to the finish line!

To Everything A Season

 Do you need some sunshine today? We have had a cloudy day in the sky but these little packages of sunshine made up for the lack of real sunshine.

The red tips of the peonies are starting to unfurl! They look so promising. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

 To every thing there is a season, 

and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; 

a time to plant, 

and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; 

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; 

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, 

and a time to gather stones together; 

a time to embrace, 

and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; 

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

 A time to rend, and a time to sew; 

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; 

a time of war, and a time of peace.

Chocolate Cookies With Peanut Butter Chips Or Chocolate Chips Recipe

 This recipe came from the back of a Reese's peanut butter chip bag. I added chocolate chips because chocolate. 😋 I have doubled the recipe quantities from the original and used a combination of butter and oil.

1 cup Butter, softened 

1/3 cup Oil

2 cups Sugar

2 eggs

2 tsp. Vanilla Flavor 

2 cup Flour 

3/4 cup Cocoa Powder 

1 tsp. Baking Soda 

1/2 tsp. Salt

3 1/3 cup Peanut Butter Chips Or Chocolate Chips Or Combination 

Beat butter, oil, and sugar until well blended. Add eggs and vanilla; beat well. 

Add flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt in a heap. Gently blend the heap of dry ingredients with one another (to distribute the baking soda, salt and cocoa amongst the flour) before mixing them into the butter mixture below. Stir until well combined. Stir in peanut butter or chocolate chips. 

Drop by rounded teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake 8-9 minutes. Cool slightly; remove to wire rack. Cool completely.

Yeilds about 6 dozen cookies.

Meatballs Cooked In Sauce Recipe

Meatball Recipe 

1 lb. Ground Beef

1 lb. Ground Pork (or sausage)

3 TBS. Onion, Chopped

1/2 tsp. Salt

1/2 tsp. Pepper

1/4 c. Breadcrumbs 

1/4 c. Milk or Cream

1 Egg

Mix all ingredients together until well blended.

Form into balls about the size of a walnut.

Bake at 400°F. for 15 minutes on a sheet pan with shallow sides.

      ---OR---

Cook meatballs in sauce. This will add meat flavor to your sauce and dirty fewer pans.

Pour a layer of prepared spaghetti type sauce on the bottom of a large oven safe casserole dish that has a good lid. 

Place the meat balls in and then pour the rest of the sauce over top.

Cover with lid and bake at 350° for an hour. 

  --OR---

Simmer meatballs and sauce in a large pot with the lid ajar on the stovetop for half an hour or until meatballs are cooked through.

I Spy With My Little Eye!

 

Poking through the frost

Bringing sunshine in their folds

Springs the equinox

I saw these this morning and they made me so happy! I had to write a haiku to celebrate. 

Here is an old post in which you can read about my excitement over daffodils back in 2015. I haven't changed in that regard.