Sometimes I get in a slump and I say to myself, "I hate my job." I have learned to follow that phrase with, "When I'm not doing a good job." In my head or even under my breath my mantra staggers, "I hate my job.......when I am not doing a good job."
Everyone loves things that they are good at doing. We can think back to subjects in school that we hated when we didn't understand them very well, but then grew to love them when we understood the concepts like the back of our hand. Like when long division was first introduced and the steps seemed so dumb and you didn't get it. But once you memorized the multiplication tables you couldn't stop and just round up at the one's place, but wanted to keep going into the tenth's, and hundredth's places, and beyond.
Or, when you learned to diagram parts of speech. It was all foreign and you weren't going to remember the difference between a verb and a noun. And then you got good at it and wanted all the compound subjects and verb phrases and adjective and adverb branches sticking all over the place in your diagram skeletons.
Outside of school maybe there was a job you had to do that you weren't thrilled about but the more you did it the faster you got and you figured out a streamlined system and polished you techniques and received compliments. Then that task became your favorite because you were good at it.
My point being, we all love things we are good at doing. When the dred comes over me and I hear the words whispering out my throat, "I hate my job." I pause and then keep going, with determination I add, "When I am not doing a good job."
The truth is that I hate my job when I didn't do any preparation and I am behind: behind with meal planning, behind on grading math, behind on laundry......... I hate my job when I am not doing a good job: when the bathroom is grimy, and the floors are strune about with various toys and trash, when I spent the previous two hours scrolling on my phone, eating the last snacks in the house, and everyone is hungry, I have no idea what to cook, and the pot I need has to be washed first. I hate my job when I am not doing a good job.
I love my job when the house is clean, the laundry is folded and put away, the meat is thawed, the potatoes are peeled, the math test is printed before we start lessons, and I am cooking a meal that everyone likes before people start begging me for food.
You know what? I even love my job when all those things aren't done perfectly but I have made a good effort. I feel good about my job when I can honestly say I focused on the tasks without using my phone to distract myself.
When I have this hateful feeling about my job creep up, I have learned to look around and recognize all that I am not doing. I put something away, sweep, start a load of laundry, wipe down the bathroom surfaces, or read a book to the children. Those things usually bring me back to a place of joy.
I am alone, or do you know what I am talking about?
Better is a dinner of herbs where love is,
than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.
6 comments:
You are not alone in this! I know exactly what you are talking about! In a weird way the pictures in your post give me great comfort because that is sometimes how our sink, laundry room, and desk/homeschool area look. I love your phrase "I hate my job, when I am not doing a good job." I am going to use this phrase from now on because you are right, I need to look at myself and my bad habits first. My personal struggle, since I was a little girl, was always with organization of stuff, clutter management/physical spaces. I really need to come up with some systems that work to get things not perfect, but orderly and maintained in a general sense so that I am not constantly feeling behind. On the flip side, my strength is time management. I am really good at organizing schedules, juggling all the places we need to be, doing the prep work for us to be there, arriving on time, etc. So, there's that! But anyway, thanks for being so transparent. It is very encouraging!
-Alyssa
Thank you, Alyssa, for not letting me feel alone in this! We all have different strengths and weaknesses, and we have to work at growing our capacity. This lesson of saying, "I hate my job when I'm not doing a good job." Is solidly under my belt enough to share it publicly at this point. I first started to figure it out about 3 years ago. Thank goodness we aren't done growing when we reach adulthood! I have been trying to remember this lately as I deal with my children. Some of the things they struggle with I didn't get a handle on until I was a grown up and I need to have grace with them. Anyway, I am always encouraged by your comments! Keep doing the good work of motherhood!
It is a hard job and not one I was very prepared for. I am grateful my mom said I did better than my mom and I hope you to better than I did. I can say the same to you. I hope I’ve done better than my mom and I want you to do better than I have done. I actually wouldn’t encourage you to say you hate your job but rather I hate that I’m not doing a good job with what jobs I need to do. Every day has a million challenges in it and I feel overwhelmed every day too. It is a job and I wish I had better training for it in advance but like you described in schooling if you put in the hard work it actually can be rewarding and seems simple down the road. Hope tomorrow you check off several items on the to do list and keep seeing the blessings of your children, your home, and your job.
Thank you for your input, mommy! I am glad you have always told us how that Grandma told you to do better than she did and you told us (my siblings and myself) to do better than you. That demonstrates a level of humility and lets us know that you are not pressuring us to copy everything you did and you will root for us to succeed no matter what.
Perhaps you are right when you say that I should try saying I hate that I am not doing a good job with the jobs that I need to do. Saying that I hate my job is definitely starting off going the wrong direction. But, that is kinda of the of point of this post. I start off saying/feeling the wrong thing and then I have learned to quickly steer the wheel in the right direction.
Thanks for sharing! I like to try to change my mind about tiring work by replacing it with something I'm thankful for instead. Instead of thinking I'm tired of cleaning or I hate folding piles of laundry, etc... I try to replace it with something like I'm thankful for my husband and children that I get to care for and for good health and strength to clean and do the work. I never want to forget what a blessing it is, especially after living with health problems that kept me from being able to do very much for a number of years. God has been so good to me! It's interesting how much easier and enjoyable work seems when I am thanking God for it.😊
Thank you, Grace! You're right. Gratitude is so important. It is a great antidote for grumbling.
I do remember, after I had had an ongoing sickness for several months, when I was able to wash dishes again thinking, "Thank you, God, that I can wash these dishes!" And, "Thank you that I can serve my family, again!"
It's amazing how we can take for granted simple abilities but once we've been deprived we have a whole new perspective!
Post a Comment